Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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