you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
