We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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