My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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