so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
MIDGETS
????
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
