you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
