??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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