I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
