He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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