i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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