you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
