He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
