So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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