maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
