what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Green mimosas i think yes
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
