My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
