They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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