Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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