these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize