There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
