he puts the penis in happiness.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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