ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
