so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
