These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
