i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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