I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
