It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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