so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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