I can text with my tongue
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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