Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
