i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
