Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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