How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
