We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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