next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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