I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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