Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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