never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
