I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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