Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
