Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
