Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
