The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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