Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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