JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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