Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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