Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
