I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
