mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize