Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
