Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
