Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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