she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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