You smell like a Billy Joel song
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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