Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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