Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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