xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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