my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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