dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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