Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize